Monday, July 17, 2006

Can I just say something? And I don't really care if this is t.m.i....

I hate going to the doctor with a passion of a thousand fiery suns. For a woman it's hell! Okay, maybe not hell, but somewhere near hell. Like, AlmostHellsville. For someone who is already a hypochondriac the event is almost as impossible to stomach as watching Star Jones (pre-anorexic) drop it like it's hot. But I digress...

First off, let me just say that my reg doc was outta town (bitch!) and was all like, "Oh, don't worry. You'll be fine. I'll give you a great reference" Yeah, great my booty!!! The doctor she ended up referring me to was first of all MY AGE and second of all MY AGE!! She was like some freakin Doogie Howser MD! She not only made me feel like I have done absolutely nothing with my life but was also talking in this Sweet Valley High voice that made me want to run from the gynecological hills. The whole time I was like, "SHE is a doctor??? MY doctor!!" I mean, someone YOUR AGE and in your PEER group all up in your grill! Uuugh!!! Let me tell you, in this instance you have a lot of things in common and this (unfortunately) leads to lengthy conversations.

Case in point:

She was trying to make light conversation and such, perhaps to try and divert from the fact that she was copping a feel. She went to JMU, and I, Virginia Tech. So we had some sort of "bonding session" due to the fact our schools are both off of interstate 81. While examining my lady-bits she discussed the partying she used to do at Tech as well as JMU and how she goes to DC often with her friends. We have even frequented the same clubs!!! I mean, what if I decide I want to go to KStreet Lounge and I see her there. Like, "Hey girl! How are ya? Thanks for delving into my nether regions the other day, you're the best!!!"


I had an ex-JMU party girl all up in my junks. Good lord. Thank god this is like, a once a year endeavor 'cause, seriously, I feel violated. I am mad my doctor recommended me to her - am I a guinea pig??? They need to teach these new doctors the proper conversations to have whilst molesting their patients. I know guys go through the same thing and all, with the whole "turn your head and cough" business.... but damn....


Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home